This is my favorite part of the week. Hi, I missed you. What's going on? I got a lot more listeners last week than I was anticipating. So why don't I reintroduce myself again? My name is Birna. I'm a sex educator, and I also have a degree in health and public interest, which is this kind of public health and advocacy degree mixed into one from Georgetown University. That's why I live in DC currently. And I talk about sex, I educate about sex, I write about it. I've been on research teams about it. I've done a lot of stuff involving sexual and reproductive health, and this podcast just feels like an extension of everything I do, but I get to have my own perspective on it. I get to take off the educator/lecturer hat and talk about things from my own perspective and answer these questions with a little bit more personality than I would usually allow myself when I'm being asked in a med school or university classroom, or when I'm being asked, you know, in a article that I'm writing, this is kind of my safe space, if you will, that I've carved out. And I really love the reception that this has been getting I started the podcast years ago, but then I took a whole year off while I was doing my Masters, and I had some other stuff going on that I needed to prioritize, and I came back, and it's just been so much fun. Sometimes I'll go in the studio and record something extra special, but for the most part, I know it's called Beyond the Bedroom, but I am doing a lot of these episodes from my bedroom here in my apartment, so it really is one of my just highlights of my week that I get to do this. And so I just want to take a moment and say thanks for listening. So over the weekend, I went to an event, the diplomatic ball, which was, it was fun because I went with my friends, but it was kind of like a weird event. I don't know. It kind of felt like prom, a little bit, which I I had a major prom flashbacks going to this, but it was a little black tie event at the Spy Museum here in DC, and we were going through the exhibits, and, you know, a little tipsy wearing ball gowns, you know, going through these exhibits. And it was so much fun. But we were walking through one of them, and then my friends pull me towards an exhibit with disguises. And these like secret tools. They pull me towards one they were like, Oh, my God, you have to talk about this on the podcast and point to this disguise. And sure enough, there was prosthetic testicles looking back at me in that case, and they looked so weird, like they had hair that was really long, like, absurdly long, and they looked really big, I don't Oh, I mean, I guess they're supposed to fit over your scrotum. I should say it's a prosthetic scrotum, not just testicles, but it genuinely looked so bizarre. And my friends immediately, like, you have to talk about this, like, please. So here I am talking about it. And so I did a little digging, because there was only just this one line of text underneath the scrotum, and I and I checked their archive online, and sure enough, they had it listed as scrotum concealment, and they said that it's just a prototype, and it's never been used in the field, and it was specifically designed for male pilots to conceal a small escape radio. So this tiny radio that you know, they could be used, they could use if they were captured or something were to happen to them. And the caption says that male security guards, it was thought, would not thoroughly search the genital area. I find this to be so interesting, and I also found this to be really cool that it was in the museum. I'm sure that it sparked a lot of interesting reactions, right? But I also thought it was interesting that it was a prototype, and it had never been used in the field, but this was the original prototype. It reminds me a lot of, a lot of the sex toy molds that have been, you know, shown throughout history of, like, you know, porn stars and people, like, one of the most famous dildo shapes, like, modeled after just some guy's dick. And it's just, there's tons of versions of his penis, like all around even still today, I really wonder who they use to model that I mean, but I guess we'll never know, right? But I did some digging, and there were a couple articles written about this, and one of them states that it was created in the late 1960s by Tony Mendez, who. As the former chief of disguise at the CIA, and it's now on show at the museum in the tools of trade display in the spies and spy masters room. I really liked the exhibits there. It was really interesting to see how intelligence has changed over the years and just what's happened. And I would have really liked even more information about how, you know, like, sex was used, which I can get into later in the show. Back to the prosthetic scrotum, so it's made of latex, and it would have needed to be glued on. So I guess they would have needed to use, like, spirit glue or something. I wonder if they would have had to shave their regular scrotum in order for it to stick. I'm not sure. Like, this seems kind of like a lot of steps to conceal a radio, right? And also, it kind of seems scary to have a radio pressed against your testicles for that long, especially if it like can overheat or something, and you're in the cockpit of a airplane. I don't know. There's a lot going on. There's a lot of moving parts to this, and it is believed to have been created from a mold of genuine anatomy. So that's what I'm saying. Like, I wonder who this was molded from. It reminds me, I'm pretty sure I did talk about this in a really, really early episode of the podcast, like, years ago, one time Victor, my husband and I created a mold of Him for we were testing out the clona Willy kit that was sold at the the shop that I was working for in the in the sex educator for and it was so funny, and it was so much fun, And I don't remember if I still have it, if I do, then I don't know it's somewhere I should probably try to locate that before we move overseas again. But either way, it definitely was not a super easy process that had kind of a lot of steps, and I was like, feeling like I was back in like a wet lab, like mixing up the silicone mold and having all these timers. And it was definitely not like the easiest process, but it was definitely worth it. And it was fun to have a little, a little prosthetic of, well, not little, but, you know, like a prosthetic of him. It was just funny to have, like a mold of him, like in my hands. It felt really bizarre. Also, the skin tone matched too well. It was actually, it was a little creepy. I'm not gonna lie, it was a little creepy, but it was also fun.

But I definitely talked about it before, so some OG fans may remember that, but I can, I can write about it sometime in a members only newsletter or something. Anyway, back to this. This scrotum a spokesperson for the Spy Museum said that quote. But if you stand near the artifact, you can see something light up in visitors eyes when they notice it. And you typically get some sort of reaction like, oh my god, or oh man, particularly our male visitors, who may have an easier time envisioning wearing the artifact, they go on to say there is a level of wonder we see when people are trying to figure out how it would have worked, or how or why someone would have come up with such a crazy concept. We love the reactions to it. Apparently, you know, the former chief of disguise, Tony Mendez, he showed it to the director of the CIA at the time, who blushed upon seeing it, and just immediately was like, I don't think that's that's a no go. I don't think that's gonna work. But I do find it really interesting that they kept this artifact and, well, it became an artifact in the museum, and they kept it all these years, and I wonder, you know where it went from, from the late 1960s until when the Spy Museum opened, like, was it locked in someone's drawer? Was it like on someone's desk? Like, I would love to know more about the history of this. I just find it really interesting. But something this spokesperson said, like, the thing that happens, like, people kind of light up. A lot of people find it really exciting and funny, or they kind of try to figure out, like, we had such a fun time looking at it. It's also such a bizarre scrotum, like, mold, I don't know, like, it has these really long hairs. Like, this is, like, it's the stuff that comes out of my hair brush when I brush my hair, like, that's how long these hairs are. It's so bizarre. But I do love that they included it. It does definitely spark some curiosity, and it also kind of humanizes things like it does remind us that there's a lot of things that are exciting and sometimes embarrassing and funny about about this whole process. There was also some artifacts of women's makeup and like, compacts and lipstick, specifically KGB intelligence officers. But I really enjoyed the this exhibit of, like, the tools and the things that people would keep on their person as spies. My mom would be very upset with me if I didn't call them intelligence officers, not spies. So I'm trying. My best year, but I found some really interesting stuff too when I was digging. So I found a lecture on C span, maybe the nerdiest thing I've said on this entire podcast. Anyway, I found a lecture on C span. It's from 2015 and a former CIA officer named Jonna, or Jonah Mendez explained how, at the time, it was still Czechoslovakia, a Czechoslovakian husband and wife. They were K, G, B, spies. Their names were Carl and Hannah Kocher or Kocher, used sex to infiltrate the CIA. This is a quote here, infiltrate the CIA and gather top secret information. So I found it particularly interesting that one popular Washington DC swingers club was frequented by the couple and counted at least 10 CIA staffers and a United States senator as members.

I would absolutely love to know who that Senator was, and I would also really love to know who the 10 CIA staffers were, but that's maybe just I don't know, but I'm especially curious about that Senator and which party they were a part of. I know a lot of you may may guess he was more of a liberal, but you'd be surprised. I mean, I don't know how many of you remember I talked about this Justin Lehmiller's book. Tell me what you want. It's the this research project about fantasies and ironically. It was, or actually not that ironically. I guess it makes perfect sense, if you think about it, a lot of people who registered or identified as a Republican had fantasies about group sex and submission. And it was, it was not surprising to anyone, really, but it was surprising in terms of seeing it. You know, in a research project, I also found this former assistant FBI director, William C Sullivan, In testimony before the Church Committee in November 1975 stated, quote, the use of sex is a common practice among intelligence services all over the world. This is a tough, dirty business. We have used that technique against the Soviets. They have used it against us. And this is an excerpt from a book called the A to Z of “sexpionage” by Nigel West, which is immediately going in my reading list. I cannot believe I haven't heard about this book before. I think it's very fitting for my life for multiple reasons. So I really I'll let you know how I think about it. I think people are always really fascinated by the use of sex in this way, whether it is for gathering intel or understanding how someone works, or bribing someone or exploiting someone. I think this is a really common trope, also using sex as manipulation. I think it is sometimes a fantasy for people like, oh, somebody is having sex with me, so then I will infiltrate them. I'll get them vulnerable, and they'll just either be so enamored by me that they'll tell me all their secrets. It's definitely a manipulative tool, and I think it's an it's not just men who are easily manipulated, as you've seen here in a lot of these accounts, right? There were swingers, there were women and men that were both using this. There are even terms like Sparrow and of course, we know about like the “honey pots”, the trope in a lot of movies. And we see even, you know, people like James Bond being the Raven, right? Somebody who's going out and using sex as means to gain leverage or to use their sex appeal in order to either fly under the radar or to be irresistible. So then you're kind of under someone's thumb, right? Or they're under your thumb even in like the satirical Austin Powers movies, right? He's using sex appeal. He's using his mojo to get his way and understand how what things are happening and to gain leverage over people. I think nowadays there's a lot more questions about the ethics of sexpionage, as it's called, and it's, I guess, largely frowned upon publicly. But I do believe it still happens. I mean, obviously we're never free from it. I think there are even people who, you know, get into relationships with people who, when they work together closely in Intel operations from other countries, maybe not necessarily in terms of trying to violate any codes or using sex to gain Intel, but that obviously does happen. But I don't know if sexpionage is really used to that extent anymore, I know it definitely is, but I don't think it's maybe as prevalent as some people may assume, just because there are a lot more eyes on intelligence officers now, and I don't think that it's as publicly acceptable now and. And especially in terms of like consent and the conflicting ethics of it, but I'm really interested in learning more about the history of this and seeing this prosthetic in the Spy Museum definitely kind of made me go down this rabbit hole. So what do you think are you do you know any specific stories about sex in spying or sex and intelligence that you want to share with me. Let me know. You can DM me or email me, and I can bring it up in a later episode.

So this week, somebody asked me, Why are some penises curved? And let me tell you, I get asked this once in a while, and I'm always like, Huh, well, here's this short answer, right? But I would love to spend a little bit more time on this, because a lot of the time when I answer this question, people do a follow up, and they go, Well, what is the evolutionary reason for this? And I want to briefly talk about how there is sometimes this interest, I should say, rather than obsession with understanding the evolutionary purpose of things in regards to our genitals or sex or reproduction. And I want to make this very clear, because often what we consider to be a evolutionary theory, one, it has a lot of bias, obviously, of what our current social perceptions are, which include things like our cultural perceptions, our gender norms, those things get projected onto a lot of theories of evolutionary psychology and biology. So I want to make that very clear that a lot of the time people are asking because they're often trying to correlate something with our genitals or our pleasure to reproduction, and then they can use this, oh, well, evolutionarily, it's for reproduction, so x, y, z is not natural, and that's where you get into this. Like, yes, we may have biologically evolved in order to make certain processes easier for us as a species. But that doesn't mean that's the only way you can use it like this. It's kind of ridiculous in terms of like, we create saliva to help us digest our food, so it lubricates our throat and it has enzymes that helps break down our food, but we still chew gum. You know, like chewing gum doesn't offer any sort of, like sustenance. We chew gum because we want the fresh breath, or we're bored, or we just, like the oral fixation we lick lollipops. You know, saliva has a lot of other things. You know, in terms of, evolutionarily speaking, it in terms of like protecting our teeth and kissing and a lot of other things, right, that you can argue have evolutionary benefits. So I do want to make it clear when we are discussing things like potential evolutionary theories, that it's not saying this is the only reason and the only way you should be doing something with your penis or whatever, but it's just a theory of like, why this may have structurally happened in our systems, as opposed to other primates, or how mammals may have evolved differently, which is fascinating, but should definitely always be taken with a grain of salt. So in terms of why certain penises are curved, there isn't really one cause for all these cases, right? There's also different types of curves. It does have to do with how certain tissue in the penis develops, and it's genetic factors. Mostly it impacts the size and shape of the penis and how curved or to what side or up or down someone is curving is mostly a genetic thing, and just like how we all have different types of labia and shapes and sizes, right? That's genetic as well. There are also some other things involved, like our reproductive development. For example, our genetics sometimes interfere with our hormonal development, but sometimes our hormonal development will impact what we're genetically designed to do. So it's not always just one cause. That's what I'm trying to say. And by the way, it's totally normal to have a curve upwards, downwards or to either side. I know a lot of people may be self conscious about this, but it's totally normal, and there's nothing necessarily wrong with your penis if it has a curve. Some people prefer the curve. Last week, I talked about how a lot of people prefer that upwards curve. So don't worry about it. However, if a curve starts to form after your reproductive development, so after your penis is fully developed, it could be due to an injury or a hormonal condition or another condition called peyronie’s disease and peyronie’s disease usually also happens after somebody turns 40, so it's more likely to happen later in life. And this is a plaque that builds up in the shaft in the inside, so it can cause a curve upwards, usually, or it can cause this bend in the middle that gives this hourglass shape to the penis, and some people get pain with erections due to this, but others don't. So they may think this is just normal, or, like, just a development happening, but it can happen gradually, like really slowly, over time, or this plaque can form pretty quickly. But this plaque can also form after an injury, so like, bending the penis the wrong way, which can usually happen during sex. I know a lot of people think about this, like ramming motion that if you kind of put it to the side of the body instead of, like the hole it's supposed to go in, but also positions where somebody is on top of you and you're penetrating them. Sometimes they can sit on the penis, and then it causes that bend, but it doesn't snap. It's not like an injury that causes any sort of like, you know, it's just slight bend, and then maybe a couple weeks later, you're noticing this plaque start to form. So it's just something to keep an eye on. But it's not like, as big of a deal as it may sound, I don't want you to think like, this is something that's bound to happen to you, and then your penis is just ruined, like, it's it's not like that. It's just something to keep an eye on, and you can definitely see a healthcare provider if it's happening. So some specialists also think that intense masturbation, repeatedly over a period of time may cause this to happen. But it seems like the jury is out on how much of that really has an impact. But yeah, it could. I mean, theoretically, because you know that could impact the way that the tissue in the penis develops. Um, but we're talking about really repeated motions here and more intense activity. So some biologists and other scientists who research from an evolutionary perspective, like evolutionary psychologists, argue that the human penis is designed to fill the vagina pump the semen pretty far up there, further than our primate counterparts, and this bulbous head at the end of the penis is larger, on average, than our evolutionary cousins. And it's also meant to kind of scrape out the semen that was left there, right? But these are theories, like some people may argue, oh, like, an upper curve has, you know, evolutionarily speaking, maybe we had this upper curve. But, like, we don't really know. We only know in terms of depictions and written words, you know, we also, we don't have a lot of samples from like, 1000s of years ago to test, you know, or look at. So a lot of this is, it's just theories. And this is also the argument for pearly penile papules, which is always a fun one to say, but those are those tiny bumps or ridges that form under the glands in some people, and they're totally normal and natural. There is, like this evolutionary theory that those help to they kind of act as ridges around the glands around the head of the penis that that help to scrape the semen or the ejaculate out of the vagina to replace it with your own of course, though, as we learn more about how semen interacts in the vagina and how cervical mucus helps semen really get up there. We're starting to change the way that we think about these evolutionary traits, right? Personally, I don't always lean towards evolutionary psychology as it does often present with biases, like I told you, immense bias of projecting our own social perceptions on the adaptation and development. And another qualm I have is that evolutionary research often neglects the very element that makes our sex so different than other mammals, which is our relationship as humans with pleasure. Not only are we capable of pleasure in a different way than some other mammals. Although some mammals are definitely capable, I would argue, maybe, of more pleasure than us, but we are able to communicate about it. We also have evolved that. I would say sex is not primarily only about reproduction, in our sexual arousal and our impulse to stimulate ourselves in our genitals is not technically only for reproduction, as we are capable of a lot more than that. Other species have different tissue structure in their genitals due to the type of sex the species has. That's kind of the theory for this evolutionary development of the penis. And don't get me wrong, I definitely do think there are evolutionary reasons, but I don't know if we always know the specific reasons, but I enjoy all the theories. But like I was saying, other species have different structures, perhaps because of the type of sex that caused this adaptation, right? And that's related to the nature of the animal, the size, the shape, behavior of it, right? So quadrupeds, like dogs, they're on all fours. They have something called an Os penis, which is harder, it's more rigid, and it's less elastic than the human penis, and they have more rigorous sex, but a shorter coital time. So their penises have evolved in order to be rigid and be, I guess, ready to go, you could say, and also, um, maybe push the semen further. But at the same time, their coital time is significantly shorter than humans or other other mammals that don't have this Os penis, which is OS, “OS” or “OZ”, it depends your pronunciation. The consensus here is that the OS penis is developed to withstand a more intense but shorter time spent actually mating and other mammals. So like rats, they have this mix between the elastic penis element called the corpus cavernosum, which is, oh, I said that, almost with an Australian accent, corpus cavernosum, which is that's kind of elastic, stretchy, inner part of the shaft, and a mix between that and the host penis, and they are able to remove the semen plug deposited by a previous male and deposit a new one in the female. But their coital time is only, like, a few seconds. So it's really interesting. It's like, it's not just their penis, it's also their has their coital time evolved, has their brain adapted to this response, and all of this is only happening in a couple seconds. So do these structures have to look different and act differently? Has the reproductive system of the female adapted, or has the male adapted? It's, it's very interesting to look at these theories with a lot of curiosity. And it's, it's fun to be able to kind of theorize about this stuff, right? But the os penis does not exist in upright animals like humans, but we do have a ligament that is similar, and acts as this supporting trunk for the glands, which is the head of the penis. I found an article that describes this evolutionary phenomenon as possibly and here I'm quoting, …"advantageous for locomotion, by removing a significant impediment to movement,” which just in other words, this rigid middle part of the penis that's often felt underneath the shaft, helps support the weight of the head of the penis, like the glands, you know, especially if it's more bulbous when it is growing erect, because humans have more elasticity, they're growing and you need that kind of firmer ligament to support that and to kind of make it stand upright, right? And they use this ligament as evidence for an evolutionary aspect of at certain point, we, like, lost this OS penis factor. And then perhaps we, you know, at what point did that happen? Did we never have it as a species like it's very interesting to theorize about this too, but they also look at this evidence to say, is this a reason why people have different penile curves? Is that? Was this an evolutionary advantage at one point that we don't need anymore, just kind of like wisdom teeth or or something, or like how people sometimes think of the appendix, right? But again, I think it's really important to look at the component here of pleasure and how our behavior often can impact our genetics, especially in terms of like epigenetics, right and unlike other upright species, we have more choice and communication about our pleasure. So if we look at the clitoris, for example, although all mammals have a clitoris, and many animals, it contains a bone, a tiny bone, and that's why it's called the osclitoris, just like the rigid ospenis I mentioned earlier, also interesting. People consider the bonobos a more evolutionary cousin to us, and I looked up the clitoris of bonobos, and they're larger and more externalized than in most other mammals, and it's up to three times larger than the average human female, even though, like, the largest female bonobo is only like the size of a, I don't even know, like maybe a young teenager human female, like, pretty small, but not like a child, but like, maybe that size and weight, you know, their clitoris is, like, three times bigger than ours, which is just so interesting, and their behavior often mimics more of what humans do, as opposed to other primates that I also found really Interesting. So female bonobos engage in the practice of what's called GG. So it's genital, genital rubbing, which is just, I guess it's listed here in this zoology thing, as a non human form of tribadism that human females engage in. So that's basically, it's just scissoring. The bonobos are scissoring, you guys, that's so exciting, but they only do this for like 10 to 20 seconds. So that's also really interesting, because, you know, we could be doing that for like two hours, you know, with snack breaks. And I found this quote from a evolutionary biologist named Marlene Zuk, and she has suggested that the position of the clitoris, and bonobos and some other primates has evolved to maximize stimulation during sexual intercourse. Because, you know, then we're wondering, did their behavior where they're constantly seeking pleasure? They masturbate. They engage in genital, genital rubbing. They're, you know, the freaking monkeys are scissoring, you know, like, Is this happening because of the genitals growing larger, or did their genitals grow larger to adapt to this behavior? It's always a chicken and the egg situation, but that's why this stuff is so fascinating, and that's why I ask, could it be possible that the human penis evolved for pleasure, for its own pleasure, or for the pleasure of its partners? Maybe the shape of the clitoris, including the internal portion, evolved for pleasure as well. And I'd love to see more time spent on this research. But you know, of course, with all research on genitals, and we know that the female reproductive system can preserve sperm for up to five days, and there is a complex system of cell communication, allowing for the preservation, retrieval and guidance of sperm to the egg. We also know that it doesn't always matter how close to the cervix sperm cells may lay. So doesn't always matter how far it shoots up, although human sperm can shoot to up to like two feet if it's not contained, which is really crazy. But the sperm do travel upwards, even if they are at the just the opening of the vagina, they can make their way up to the cervix and up to the uterus. And we know that the female orgasm doesn't seem to have much impact on fertility at all. And this has been debated and debunked many times, but pelvic contractions don't help that suction motion that people may think they do, they don't really suction the sperm up and help as much as people think. And they definitely don't help as much as other aspects that we do know help, like the right cervical mucus consistency or cervical positioning. I really like Emily Nagoski’s position on this and her communication about it that evolutionarily speaking, the female orgasm is just a fantastic bonus in general. Though, my thoughts about evolutionary psychology, so not biology, but the psychology of this are mixed when it comes to the study of genitals and sexual behavior. But I love these theories, and I do love to kind of theorize alongside even though I'm not part of the research, right? But next week, I'll be tackling this very topic, the female orgasm, specifically anorgasmia, or why it's harder to have an orgasm, and why our perceptions of this really influence how we treat it. So watch out for that next week. So I hope that answers that. You know, it's just mostly genetics, sometimes it can be that injury, but also in terms of why we have curved penises. Evolutionarily speaking, there's a lot of theories, and we don't really know, but it's fun to theorize, and it's interesting to look at these different aspects of what we know adapted and why, that's always the how and the why that are so distinctly different and debated and both excite me. Okay, let's switch gears and talk about some fun stuff.

So here's some listener questions this week. Why do I get so horny whenever I drink coffee? So this is surprisingly common for people. People often think it's just alcohol that makes them horny, but they'd be very surprised. I mean, stimulants in general, like caffeine, can make people really horny, but caffeine in particular does something kind of special. So caffeine can increase your arousal in a few ways, and it may just increase your blood pressure, which increases the blood in your genitals, and then send potential arousal signals to the brain, right? That's That's one theory, or it may help you psychologically react, or behaviorally, I should say, react to arousal by shutting down the signals in your brain that you're tired, and this increased energy may help you decide on physical signs of arousal or or decide to act on them. And this increased energy may help you decide to act on the physical signs of arousal, or it just may increase your sexual desire. As caffeine temporarily increases alertness, so it may make you just more aware of your body's signals. It could also just reduce the fatigue that you may usually feel, so then you feel more inclined to do more activities in general, and that involves you having more energy to masturbate or have sex. So there's a couple different things going on, right? And there are a few studies on this. So some test how daily caffeine intake impacts sexual desire in general, and others measure how caffeine impacts arousal in the body. If, in a perfect world, if I could design a study, I would really like to see the intention behind caffeine. So if you're having the same cup of coffee every single day, the same amount of caffeine. Single Day, how that is impacting your sex drive, in terms of if you were to stop, if you were to start, sporadically, and how different people who have caffeine every day, right, have this impact their arousal versus someone who consumes caffeine sporadically. They may have an energy drink, you know, here and there, or they may have a different type of coffee or caffeinated beverage every day. Do certain amounts or times a day impact them? I think this would be a really interesting study as well, because I think a lot of the time the people who ask me this, they're asking me because they're like, Oh, I had an extra strong coffee today, and it just made me so Randy and so ready to have sex. So I think that could also be an element here where it's not maybe necessarily daily consistent caffeine intake that is causing people to be hornier on average, right? I think what we're really seeing is that caffeine intake at different times or in sporadic ways, may make you recognize this arousal more. If you're noticing that you get super horny after you drink a Red Bull as opposed to just your regular cup of coffee. There could be something else going on there too the too long, zoned out answer here is that it can make you more sensitive to your genitals, signaling that it's sexy time, or it just may give you the energy you don't normally have to act on your sexual impulses. I do want to note here, though, that for some people, caffeine can negatively impact their sex life, so it may increase their anxiety and stress and anxiety can be a major factor in libido. For some people, I don't love to use the term libido. In this case, I'll say desire rather, but it may push desire for others. So we're all unique, but sounds like you're really enjoying your espresso, so have at it. Me, personally, I'd notice this definitely if I'm like, you know, not having my regular coffee, but then once in a while, I'll treat myself to like a double espresso iced latte with oat milk and sugar free vanilla, just something nice, as opposed to, like the black coffee I have every day. I noticed that, like that, that two shots of espresso. I’m like, if I'm not like, Oh, I’m sweating, I feel a little anxious. Then I'm like, Oh my God, I am so horny. What the fuck what is happening? So I think for me, I'm definitely in that category, which is definitely I have some bias there in terms of why I would love to see that study. But it definitely does impact people. There's a lot of research on how it impacts people sexually. Again, this is one of those things where it's more debated why it impacts us. We know it impacts us. It does make people more aroused, and it may make people desire having sex like wanting to act on the arousal more, but we don't necessarily have 100% clear answer on why.

So I have a very special package coming my way in May. I don't know if you guys know the company, Bellesa, but I ordered a sex toy from them that I've never actually tried before. It is one of those suction ones that's it's not like a suction toy, like the ones I talk about, usually that are just like around the clitoris. It's the suction toy that goes around pretty much like your whole vulva, and then it has like a flicking, like, almost like a tongue flick kind of thing. And I'm really curious about this, because people ask me about this type of toy all the time. Usually I don't love the suction element because it just makes me itchy. I don't know why. It just makes me kind of, like, itchy isn't the right word. It's like, it just makes me it doesn't feel as good. It just makes me kind of, like, irritated. I'm like, Okay, that's enough. And also, as I've mentioned, if you signed up for my sunroom account, which is the website or the app, and saw my oral sex series there, you may have noticed that I talked about there's other things to do besides flicking the tongue, because a lot of people don't actually love the flicking, because it has to be done in a very specific and strategic way in order to feel really good. And most of the time for people, it's just not enough pressure fluttering like vibrators that flutter, like the mod vibe, the little cone shaped ones that kind of flutter. Those are amazing, usually for a lot of people, but that's because the fluttering is happening so quickly. So I am really curious to see if this will work for me. I'll give you guys an update. I'm really curious because I don't usually like the kind of just up and down flickering on the clit. I like kind of more like middle of the tongue, kind of rolling motion opening your jaw, like moving your jaw around with the middle of your tongue on me, kind of thing. So and again, I'm explaining this stuff, not because I'm, like, trying to overshare about my sex life, but I'm also trying to model for you how the language of your pleasure makes such a big difference, and that I can kind of name these sensations, and I'm hoping that you'll be able to name the sense. Conversations you like as well. So I got a comment like that last week, oh. Like, I didn't sign up to hear you over share about your sex life. And I'm like, Well, that's what you're gonna get. You know, I'm a sex educator, and I also don't mind sharing a lot of these details, because I think it does humanize it, and it also just normalizes it, and also it's fun, like, hello, talking about sex is fun, and I refuse to be shamed for it and but I also refuse to be stuck in the boring stuff. Like a lot of people do enjoy the stuff that I talked about, like earlier in this episode, but a lot of people also find it kind of tedious, and it's okay. This is kind of going to a tangent here, but in general, I'm really tired of being like, put in a box. And I was talking to somebody about this the other day. A lot of the time, people, like colleagues of mine will be like, Oh my god, I love what you just posted. I wish I could share it or like, I wish I could repost it, or, you know, comment or whatever. But I can't because, you know, I'm trying to be professional. And I'm like, I get that. I really do. I understand it. Because I'm, you know, been in academia. I've been in these professional settings, obviously, but at the same time, it's like, my role is to be a communicator, so I'm not just a part of the research, and like most of what I do is breaking it down for people and helping people understand their bodies. And I'm more of a science communicator than I am, you know, now still like in academia and in those research teams. So I think it's really important to also acknowledge that for a lot of people, the way that I communicate is also by talking about the fun stuff, the kind of naughty stuff, the dirty stuff, because that's a part of it. And I gave a lecture, and I talked about this where it was like, if you're having, for example, like a patient with recurrent UTIs, don't see anything wrong with the kidneys, you're not seeing anything wrong with the ureter itself. And you have a suspicion that it's a behavioral thing, but they're not really opening up about it. You know, it could be because they're going like, ass to vagina consistently and like that. You keep seeing the same culture come back where it's like, it's definitely anal bacterial or fecal bacteria, like in the urethra. So they may be like, No, well, I'm not doing that when having sex, right? But then it's like, they may have a sex toy that they're using anally and then maybe putting it with other sex toys that are going in the vagina, or they may, you know, like, there's a lot of things that people may not necessarily understand when I'm just super sterile and I'm like, You shouldn't go from here to here ever. It's like, I need to give them examples. It's like, yeah, that also counts if, like, you're using a sex toy and you use it for anal stuff, even if you clean it, like, doesn't matter if you're, like, cleaning it with your hand soap afterwards, like, it could still have that bacteria on it. So when you're using it vaginally, that's what may be giving you those infections around your vagina and also in your your urethra. And then they go, Oh, I just thought it would be enough to, like, wash it. And I'm like, Well, you know, the soap you're using isn't necessarily good enough. Like, blah, blah. And then we talk about that. I do find value in being able to communicate these things. And it might be uncomfortable for people, but I am very happy when I have the support of doctors and healthcare providers and people that are in public health with me, I think that it's always meaningful. So when they send me those messages, I'm just very happy. But I do wish we could get to the point where we could be like, here are some real life examples of the stuff that we talk about here is why it's not always enough to pee after sex, right? We get this. That's another thing. We get this information. Like, you should pee after sex. It prevents UTIs. Well, the evidence isn't super strong on that. Like, it doesn't necessarily mean that people with chronic UTIs will just stop getting them if they pee after sex. It's such a simple fix. I wish it was that simple. Unfortunately, it's not. People who are getting chronic UTIs after sex, peeing and flushing the ureter, like that kind of thing is usually not enough. There could be other things going on in terms of behaviorally, like we just discussed, if they're doing a lot of ass to vagina stuff. But also in terms of they could have a dual collecting system on their kidney and have some some urine reflux. It could be that the sexual activity that they're engaging in, maybe they are a squirter, right? And it's just causing too much pressure on the urethra. There are a lot of things there, and it doesn't necessarily always mean that things like peeing after sex or taking the XYZ supplement, especially, don't even get me started on those. It doesn't mean that it's going to work. And people don't always understand these things. And I think it's really important to give them examples on both sides, explain to them why it's maybe not always enough, that it's not necessarily that they're doing something wrong, like there could be something else going. On that's out of their control. But, yeah, I just wanted to kind of put that into the universe that I know what I'm doing when I'm sharing things that are a little more risque or a little more perhaps, you know, scandalous for some it's because this is the type of content that people also can relate to, and when they relate to me, they tend to be able to open up more to me, and then I get more of an ear to the ground as to what people are most confused about, about their sexual and reproductive health. What are the questions they have? What are the things that they're running into? What are they doing that's also maybe causing these issues? So yeah, it's intentional, and it's also fun. That's another part of it. It’s just fun.

All right, I'm going to wrap up the episode by answering a question someone asked me this time. Ok, so they told me, “I love when you say ick on the podcast. Give me three Icks for dating or hooking up.” Okay, 3x for when I'm dating or hooking up. So,

oh, this is hard. This is harder than I thought it would be. I thought I could just wing it. So let me see, when they make fun of my name or mispronounce it wrong on purpose. It feels so disrespectful. And this is not like just a hooking up thing. I think it just really stings, though, if really dating someone, and a lot of the time, people have a hard time with my name, I understand you don't speak the language that my name is in. I totally understand that, but making it like a butt of a joke, or, like, saying it with this, like, over the top accent, like I had, I had this guy a long time ago do that to me. He just kind of, like, started doing that kind of out of nowhere. And it wasn't like, a funny, cute thing. It was like, ugh. Like, I'm annoyed I can't say your name. Like, why do you have, why do you have to have such a hard name? Why can't? Why can't I just call you something else? And it's like, well, you can call me my nickname, which is b, which is like, what most people call me, but you don't have to. Also it's like, I would just prefer I don't know. Maybe this is why I married someone who speaks my language. But I don't know. It just it gives me the I don't know why it feels so disrespectful. Actually, I do know why it is disrespectful, and it's not like an accidental mispronunciation or having a hard time with it that I totally understand. It's like, doing it wrong on purpose. Also, when people call me Birna on purpose, when I'm like, Oh, I've already corrected you a couple times, that's not how you say it. Like, I'm fine. It's just like, okay, Birna, like, shut the fuck up. Like, I don't want to do anything with you. Like, the last thing I want to do is have sex with you. If you can't even respect my name, that's wild. Anyway. Number two, okay, no offense, no offense. Please do not get offended by this. It's a hot take, I recognize that, but those Teva sandals, like the ones with the Velcro band across the toes. I'm so sorry. I don't know why this just really gives me the ick. But it's not like I don't care if people wear them that I don't know, or just friends, like friends of mine, have worn them. I’m fine with that. It's more like if I'm dating somebody and they're wearing, Tevas, is that even how you say them? Tevas tifas, I'm so sorry. But like, just you're it's specific to, like, if you're wearing those in a city, maybe this is just like the New Yorker in me, I don't know. Like, if you're wearing those open toed shoes in a city. This also goes for wearing, like, flip flops in a city on on days that it's like, not pro like, you shouldn't be doing that, wearing flip flops in the rain in a city, are you insane? Oh my god. Oh my god, guys, I'm like, freaking myself out. I don't like this at all. Okay, that’s a major Ick. I don't know why. It just it gives me the ick immediately. I'm like, I don't like you anymore. Oh, God, am I a bad person? Anyway, being rude to waiters, that's that's another one. I know this is a common one, but for me it also extends to actually, just like being rude to anyone in the service industry when we're out, it's so gross, I hate it. And this also includes not leaving a tip. Oh my god, if you're not leaving a tip, or you're leaving like a shitty tip, or, Oh God, this is the biggest ick in the whole world, when they like write a little note instead of leaving a tip, what? Who are you? And I recognize not everybody in every country tips. And this is not for my Icelandic followers, I know we don't tip over there, but in the United States, you know you're supposed to tip. Gratuity is a part of the experience. If you're tipping like $2 on a like a $50 meal, like you were evil. I'm sorry. What is wrong with you? God, it's like, ah. But I think it's just because I was in the service industry for years. I think the opposite of this, though, the opposite of this is when people grease them up, that's hot to me. Okay, I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. You can come for me. You can come at me. I don't care when they over tip or they grease them up, like, they'll just hand them like, $100 bill to be like, oh, like, you have a re we don't have a reservation, but I'm like, I don't know, but it has to be done with confidence. If it's not done with confidence, then it's a major Ick. I'm sorry. Maybe this is just revealing a lot about me, but you have to be cool with it. Okay? You have to be cool with it. Like you can't do it in a nervous way. You gotta be cool with it and grease them up a little. But I think it's just the the mix of like confidence and generosity. That's chef's kiss. I love that, but yeah, major, major X. I want to give a little reminder that in the next couple weeks, I'm still collecting your answers for the dirtiest, hottest stuff that has ever been said to you in bed, please send me more of these submissions. I'm going to do a story about it to remind people, but it's like the funnest episode I ever recorded in the past. I’m doing a part two. Actually, I'm doing like a redo, and so send it in. You can send me a voicemail. You can send it to me anonymously. You can DM it to me. Email it to me whatever you want to do. Okay, I want to hear it because I want to react to it, and I want to give my take on it, and I want to share it with the world. And I think we all deserve to hear it. What is something that kind of gives you vagina butterflies still to this day, or makes your toes curl, or makes you like, smile to yourself, or kind of just like, makes your jaw open? It can be the sexiest thing you've ever heard in bed, sexting, talking about sex, whatever, just laid on me. I recognize this was maybe like a little heavier scienc-ey episode than usual, especially the first half. But I love, you know, mixing it up. And I hope you enjoy it. And if you want to support the podcast, you can use my discount codes, which are BBIRNA at unbound babes. I'll link it in the description. I love them, and I have some other stuff down there. So check it out. I'm sending you all my love over here in DC.