When it comes to safer sex, cis lesbians are often overlooked in mainstream conversations. Common myths, such as the idea that lesbian sex is risk-free or doesn’t qualify as "real" sex unless penetration is involved, continue to persist. These misconceptions not only undermine the importance of sexual health in the lesbian community but also ignore the very real risks associated with vulva-and-vulva sex. Whether you’re engaging in oral sex, using toys, or enjoying skin-to-skin intimacy, there are simple ways to protect yourself and your partner while keeping things fun, sensual, and communicative. _ Note: This information also extends to anyone, regardless of identity, with a vulva who engages in any sexual behavior with another person with a vulva. _

Why Safer Sex Matters

While vulva-to-vulva sex doesn’t involve pregnancy risks, it does carry the potential for STI transmission. Skin-to-skin contact can spread HPV, herpes (HSV-1 or HSV-2), and syphilis, while fluid exchange (oral, genital, or shared toys) can transmit chlamydia, gonorrhea, and even fungal infections like yeast. While bacterial vaginosis and yeast infections aren’t classified as STIs, they can be spread through genital contact or by sharing insertable toys like dildos.

The most common STI symptom? None at all. Regular testing for both partners—especially when starting a new relationship—is a must. Don’t forget oral swabs if you’re engaging in oral sex; STIs like HPV and chlamydia can also affect the throat.

Have questions about vulva pleasure, lesbian sex, or sapphic pleasure? Check out Episode 48, “Is Scissoring Real? Queer Cliteracy and Lesbian Sex Myths” to learn more.

Create a Barrier for Oral Sex

Dental dams are the go-to for reducing risk during oral sex. These thin latex or polyurethane sheets are a barrier between your mouth and your partner’s vulva. If you’re not a fan of holding a dental dam in place, brands like Lorals offer latex underwear designed for oral sex for hands-free protection.

Use Condoms on Shared Toys

Sharing sex toys? Cover them with a condom, and swap out condoms between partners. Using unlubricated, non-spermicidal condoms and adding your favorite water-based lube can reduce any potential irritation. For insertable toys, condoms help reduce the risk of bacterial or fungal infections like yeast or bacterial vaginosis caused by mixing vaginal flora, especially when used with multiple partners in one session.

Remember to wash your toys with soap and warm water before and after every use. Silicone toys without a motor can be boiled for sterilization. Keeping toys in their own storage bags also prevents cross-contamination and ensures they stay free from dust, hair, or scratches.

Avoid Cross-Contamination

If swapping toys or condoms feels like a mood-killer, consider designating separate internal toys (dildos) for each partner, even identical ones in separate colors. Getting creative with different toys and tools can also help prevent the same one from being used twice. External toys like magic wands or larger vibrators can also be swapped out or covered up when sharing. These options minimize risks while maximizing shared pleasure.

Be Mindful of Skin-to-Skin Contact

Tribbing or general skin contact can spread STIs like HPV and herpes, even if there are no visible symptoms. While there’s no barrier method specifically approved for tribbing, being open about STI testing and risks with your partner goes a long way.

Open a Dialogue

Safer sex starts with a conversation. While it might feel awkward to discuss testing history or safer practices, open communication fosters intimacy, trust, and better sex. Start by saying something like:

• “I recently learned about STI risks with sharing toys. How do you feel about using condoms on them?”
• “Pause- let me slip into my pair of Lorals before you go down, they're like a hands-free dental dam!"
• “I got tested last month, want to go together next time for peace of mind?”

Making safer sex part of your dynamic doesn’t have to feel clinical. Instead, think of it as co-creating a sex life that feels good, respectful, and confident for all involved.

Pleasure Without Compromise

Safer sex is about more than reducing risks—it’s about enhancing pleasure while respecting boundaries. Whether you’re experimenting with new toys, trying flavored dental dams, or setting up a regular testing routine, you’re making choices that prioritize connection and health.

Remember, sex isn’t about perfection or performance—it’s about following what feels good! With some preparation and a healthy dose of communication, you can have a safe, satisfying time together.

Get juicy tips and practical advice on V to V action in Episode 48, “Is Scissoring Real? Queer Cliteracy and Lesbian Sex Myths”